Overcoming Obstacles, Literally

While OTS spent the first two weeks mostly focusing on breaking us mentally, on par with Ivan Drago being placed into your cerebrum, the staff had plenty of gentle reminders that we were still in the military.

For this metaphor, my brain is Rocky and the OTS Curriculum is Ivan Drago. "I must break you."

While some citizens become outraged at the thought of $1,000,000,000 (billion with a b) tax dollars being spent on a single B-2 Bomber, I think our citizenry (read: you) needs more outrage at the level of obstacle courses we have at OTS. Good lord do we have obstacle courses. You have to navigate an obstacle course just to get to the obstacle course. And after that, once you finish the obstacle course, do you know what is waiting for you? ANOTHER OBSTACLE COURSE.

Let me tell you, if the Enemy (not sure who that would be but I'm going with proper noun capitalization nevertheless), ever tries to ward off invading American forces by putting up a bunch of things we have to crawl under, climb over, jump around, or surmount in some other ridiculous fashion, they are going to be in for a rude surprise when this guy comes knocking on their door in a slightly out of breath manner.

This is not the problem with DoD budgeting

Training for when the USAF invades the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World

It would be more of an obstacle if the pipes were, say, six inches from the ground. Obviously a person can fit under these things.

Invasion of either a telephone pole factory or Lumberjack Island

This would look way cooler if I could Photoshop this so it is not obvious that I'm only like 4 feet off the ground