Lawyers Don't Surf, Lions Don't Ride Horses

Things are coming along in Las Vegas. Due to the fact that my JAG Corps superiors monitor our blogs, I cannot get into the various exploits of Bohdi, Pockets, and myself. That said, I am beginning to appreciate the "real" Las Vegas as opposed to the Bacchanalian insanity that is the strip. Bohdi and I have discovered a couple of great "locals" places which allow for a good night out without the ridiculous prices or people that come with any venue on Las Vegas Boulevard South .

Bohdi and I enjoying a quiet moment of reflection before we get radical. "Lawyers don't surf. This one does."

My only real beef with Las Vegas, aside from the unrelenting heat, is the pressure to have a great time, all the time. Imagine New Years Eve every single day. It is hard to simply stay in without feeling like a turd. One just HAS to be Extreme in this town. If I am not smoking a big bag of crystal meth then splitting my aces and doubling down on both while base jumping from a rocky cliff using a parachute packed by someone with severe ADHD all the while being pursued by a lion riding a horse and a bear holding a shark, then I am just not getting the most out of my Vegas experience, am I?

A lion riding a horse. You can tell the horse knows this is going to end badly.

In case you were wondering, a bear holding a shark is one of the few things in life that warrants a full 10 out of 10 Extreme rating.

In my 27 years, I have found very few things to be fairly portrayed in movies. Things either appear way more fun, or way easier, than in reality. Take shooting a Zombie in the head. Probably a lot harder than it looks. Or the spontaneous eruption of a choreographed dance number. I don't think so. My time spent at Irish weddings and Tim's has pretty much convinced me that any of that "She's All That" crap, Usher as a DJ notwithstanding, is not going happen.

Harder than it looks

At my latest count, I have at least three Indian friends. This has never happened.
Dear Anchit, Bhavika, and Sivram: Please explain yourselves.

There is one thing, however, that is as awesome in real life as it is in the movies. Craps. This is the game I've been waiting for my whole life. Pockets taught me how to play when I was in Las Vegas for Spring Break last year and my life has never been the same. If you, like me, have an addictive personality, a father who has had you gambling since you could walk, and a love of being the center of attention, this is the game for you.



Work is going well. The bulk of my time in the past weeks has been spent in my role as Chief of Claims. I am, for all intent and purpose, the tort lawyer for Nellis. We have claims asserted against the base, such as when a government vehicle damages a privately owned vehicle, an aircraft crashes onto private land, or when a sonic boom damages private property. We also assert claims against citizens for their damage to government property. As my always delightful father commented, "you are basically an Ambulance Chaser for the Air Force." That's half right at least.

I have also been prosecuting cases down at the Federal District Court of Nevada. In my role as a Special Assistant United States Attorney, I handle the lower level criminal matters conducted by civilians on base when we have exclusive federal jurisdiction. It is low stakes, like shoplifting low stakes, but it is getting me into Fed Court.

I've also been assigned to two upcoming courts-martial. I am sitting second chair on one and will be lead trial counsel for the other. Anxious is probably the best way to describe how I am feeling about this. Being a trial lawyer is why I joined the JAG Corps but there is the always nagging possibility that I might be terrible at it. Time will tell. Thankfully JASOC gave me a firm foundation on the mechanics of how everything works. We'll see how it all shakes out in the real world.

I hope this finds everyone well. I will try to keep the posts coming every two to three weeks. If longer goes by, assume that I am either busy with work or that I have combusted due to the heat.