A Tourist in my own City

I hope the past four weeks have found everyone well. Things continue to go well in Vegas. Though I have been here for nearly three months, it still does not quite feel like I "live" here. Thanks to college and law school, I have never lived anywhere for more than nine straight months since I turned 18. As a result, I think my brain is still approaching my life out here through the paradigm of a temporary denizen, as though I was out here as a summer associate or for yet another year of school. Its odd, to say nothing else.

That said, I have been productive. I visited LA with Pockets for the first time a few weeks ago. I saw all the obligatory sights: Grauman's Chinese Theater, the Hollywood sign, Audrina Patridge, etc. One profoundly disappointing moment was seeing that Ricky "She Bangs" Martin had his own star. Clearly, the bar for getting your star on Hollywood Walk of Fame is disturbingly low.


As Pockets is a selfless host no matter what the forum, she took me to lunch at an exclusive Hollywood restaurant. I showed my gratitude by throwing up in their bathroom due to a soul-shattering hangover. On the plus side, they had Lady Gaga playing over the bathroom sound system. I have yet to find a situation when "Just Dance" or "Poker Face" is not the perfect musical accompaniment. Driving, running, lifting weights, or even throwing up. I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore.

I also opened a Roth IRA. That was good for a brief moment of feeling like an adult in my otherwise Man-Child existence.


I wanted to send my best to two friends now in the sandbox thanks to recent deployments. Lt Dan Horwitz, a KC-135 driver, and Capt Dave Blomgren, JAG. Be safe guys.

Also deserving a mention are those who are deploying into a different sort of area of operations. Sincere congratulations to the newly engaged: Austin & Liz as well as Dan & Jen. I look forward to being at the wedding table you stick way back in the corner because all of your law school friends tend to become a liability with an open bar.

Awwww.
AWWWWWWW.

Those of my law school friends that were not busy keeping De Beers in business made their out to Las Vegas last weekend to visit me and Pockets. It was an outstanding time. There is a lot of tourist Las Vegas I have yet to see and I welcomed the opportunity to gawk, take pictures, and drink daiquiris out of preposterously sized/themed containers. Until you have purchased over a gallon of daiquiri that is contained in a giant plastic Eifel Tower, brother you have not lived.

It's like this only plastic and filled with booze.

Some notable sights/moments from our Illini weekend:

There is no need to ask for the poor/tired/wretched refuse of your teeming shore. They are already here. They flew in last night on Southwest and are eating at Toby Keith's restaurant. You'll find them at O'Shea's later.

Of course we have our own Eiffel Tower.

I've been getting a lot of emails from friends asking me if the MGM Grand has a giant decapitated statute of V.I. Lenin. The answer, of course, is yes. The answer to every question in Las Vegas is yes.


Pockets got us into the Foundation Room at the very top of the Mandalay Bay. The view was, in a word, stunning.

Models and bottles.


We wake up in the morning and piss excellence.


This is not terrifying or anything. It takes balls to establish a John Wayne Gacy themed casino. Way to go guys.

I should add this to previous post with the Lion/Horse & Bear/Shark. Clown/Elephant is a worthy adversary. Just when I could not hate Pachyderms any more...

Happy Father's Day everybody. Till next time.